Back at the consulting rooms we have a
further discussion on preventive treatment options. The recommendation from the
doctors' case review meeting is that I would benefit from Tamoxifen - ten years
of it. My heart sinks - I realise it wasn't what I wanted to hear. There is a
substantial and longstanding history of its efficacy in prevention that is hard
to ignore. The side effects are outlined but we don't dwell on them (that's for
me to do later). We briefly discuss the option of not doing anything, but it
doesn't feel like this is an option that is recommended. Surgery is
discussed again - Giles highlights there is the usual risk accompanying any
surgery. We talk about potential timings and options. More food for
thought.
Before leaving I have my first expansion.
Giles removes the waterproof dressing but leaves the steri-strips over the
nipple area - I'm relieved, still not ready to see what's underneath. I feel
the needle on my skin but then nothing until the implant starts expanding -
it's a strange sensation, it reminds me of breast feeding - ie breasts filled
with concrete. As I lie there with a needle sticking out of me, we discuss
school open days and secondary school fees - this is becoming a recurring
feature. I drive straight to the office feeling self conscious - one side is
now noticeably larger than the other. But actually with my jumper and a scarf
it doesn't notice - one hopes that colleagues aren't looking in that direction
anyways...
The implant is now more comfortable as
predicted by Giles - there is less of a sideways bulge but it has lifted
higher. I need to go bra-shopping again and hopefully lose the uncomfortable
Evil Bra in the process.
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